They know that if they do not, the Aries will set them on fire. People run away when an Aries comes around. Then he will go and picket in the parking lot. If one is assigned to clean toilets, he will form a one-man union. Being infallible, God is probably an Aries. Their spouses have many freak accidents resulting in death or crippling injury. Aries marry several times for funnies but never divorce. The Aries makes life decisions as a toddler. They skip gaily from their mothers' wombs. Most Aries were concrete parking bumpers in at least two of their past lives. Whether you live in a palatial estate or a cardboard tepee, you will insist until death that it is exactly what you always wanted. Aries use guns to describe philosophical concepts. Aries love to laugh at the funny moon-people who suck their thumbs at age 35. Aries folks love Pisceans because Pisces people make them feel well-grounded. Never point this out to an Aries unless you want your kidneys pulled out through your sinuses. They usually do the wrong thing and don't discuss it. Aries rarely say one thing and do another. Cat Stevens' "Hard Headed Woman" was probably an Aries. They should not be quite so smug because they are constantly clunking themselves in the skull. Right now: Moon at 4☂1' Pisces, Sun at 23☄5' Capricorn Funny Horoscopes AriesĪries have ramlike eyebrows and smug expressions.
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